So I decided to totally steal my sister's idea and try this for myself.I have to say, it fills me with a bit of trepidation because I've found my iPod's randomization to be faulty in the past, so this might turn out hella strange. Let's see...
Opening Credits: "Letter to Memphis" by Pixies
This is a great instrumental. Full of pep. I can see me walking triumphantly on a shining moment, or maybe a montage of awesome moments, rife with high-fives. Or maybe I'm just in a basement in my socks and undies air guitaring. Anyway you slice it, FUN.
Waking Up: "Hip Hop" by Dead Prez
This is the social alarm clock everyone needs. It forces me to look past the music and realize...it's bigger. Or maybe it's for me to realize my vanilla-ass skin is the problem. "I'm all for running up on those crackers in they city hall." Maybe that's my goal for the day. A morning in the hood.
First Day at School: "Underwater Love" by Faith No More
Oh boy am I laughing. It's going to be a violent day, I can tell. So at my first day of school I fall in love with my teacher, but realize she's too old for me and it can never be, so I decide to drown her. But I still can't escape her stare, all authoritative and cold. What did you do on your first day of school?
Falling In Love: "Shores of Avalon" by Mullmuzzler
WOW. And here I thought it was going to be a violent day in the hood. It's just got Epically progged out with this solo track from the Dream Theater lead singer. After I drown my teacher I am sucked into a portal, perhaps as penance. I'm in a medieval world with a sword fighting evil, searching for a fair maiden. But she's hiding a Turkish dagger to stab me! Oh man are paybacks a bitch.
Fight Song: "Where the White Boys Dance" by The Killers
So that trip to never-never land was to get me understand the danger of violence. Back in the real world, I decide to resolve my problems through dancing. I have a problem with this guy, and we just cha-cha it out, in slow motion. Giving each other mean looks, but in a totally hetero slow-motion moment. Save the Last Dance ain't got shit on me boy.
Breaking Up: "Televators" by The Mars Volta
This is a really sad song. Especially since it's my breaking up song. The love I won through my manly show of dance now lies cold on the pavement. I am bereft and alone. How will I recover from this? What will I tell others? And most importantly, who will I take to prom now? Riddle me THAT! I guess I gotta stalk the ground for ladies...dance style.
Prom: "Sharpening Skills" by Elysian Fields
Just when I think I'm flying solo, in shadows of an alley I see a sultry older lady (do I have a thing for older women or what? ;) smoking a clove, humming to herself a deep, rich tone. I approach her in my tux, give her a flower to pin to her exquisite dress, and she gives me a swig of her scotch. We walk hand in hand inside, and slow dance to every track, no matter the speed, sharpening our "skills" for later that night...
Life: "This Book Is A Movie" by Spoon
You can't get any more post-modern than that. Living a life a action, violence, betrayal, and fantastic adventures beyond belief, I slow down long enough, to get my story out on a little recorder I talk into as I'm in the back seat of an old Lincoln as I drive through NYC at night. The tape gets put to paper, and I am a best-selling author for the impressive stories of my life. And now they want to make a movie out of it. But I thought there was already a movie going on...
Mental Breakdown: "Operation Rescue" by Bad Religion
"When need restoration now of our integrity" indeed. The celebrated life has driven me to madness. My mind spins at a break-neck pace. I try to do good, and people assure me, but it feels like this are spinning out a control too fast, I can't keep up. What compels them all? I need some rescue...
Driving: "Just A Man" by Faith No More
I'm always able to gain my focus when driving. The cool night air clears my head. Here I was thinking everything was of Godlike importance, and it was driving me mad. The sins of pride I tell you. Things become so much simpler when you realize one must look past his Icarus tendencies and realize, "but me, I am just a man." But I still dream about a cloudy sky. And any revelation I have should be accompanied by a gospel choir.
Flashback: "El Scorcho" by Weezer
When I let my mind clear and just wandered, I return to that first day of school. When I was busy looking to big fish to fry, I missed the best thing that was right in front of me. A cute little girl in my class who liked all the same things, and really liked swings. That one day we refused to stop swinging and come to class was magic. We wouldn't stop until our parents came after school and physically removed us from them. It was one best days of my life, and I never told her how I felt.
Wedding: "I Don't Like the Drugs" by Marilyn Manson
What can I say about this one? One simple drug experiment turned into something crazy. You go on a acid burn for a few days, and once they pry your sorry ass off the ceiling, give you some orange slices and a cup of coffee, you find you're married. Life's funny that way. But not funny haha. But hey, my life had a gospel choir again! Hooray!
Birth of a Child: "Static" by Beck
After coming down, sometimes you just want to lock yourself indoors, and if you do so with a wife, what do you expect will happen? A child. So we decided to have the child in the same place it was conceived, locked up in my house, quietly, without attention from anyone. It was peaceful, beautiful birth.
Final Battle: "Alone Jealous and Stoned" by The Secret Machines
So at some point, I lost the kid and wife. I never made it outdoors much in those days, took comfort in the drugs. I envied those who had a simple life that wasn't filled with murder, portals, drugged-out weddings and super-stardom books and movies. A sad battle of inner-struggle and yet catharsis. My greatest obstacle/opponent was me.
Death Scene: "Jimmy" by Tool
"Leaving me with the dead and hopeless" indeed. Waving goodbye. Heading home. Home to eternity, oblivion. As a last ditch effort to save my worthless life, I trek out into the woods, a candle as my only guide on a dark, misty night. Driven by something in my head, whether it be drug residue, a conscious, or some being across the astral plane. I attempt to open temporal gateway to reverse everything that's happened up until this point, but instead something evil comes out of the portal, a slithering, secret, evil. Before I know it, it scoops me up, flings me high into the air, cuts my thrown, and then I fall, earthbound, landing not where I started, but instead in Times Square, where thousands can look upon my once famous face and destruction all of it wrought. Dark Magicks are not to be toyed with. But I am finally at rest.
Funeral Song: "The Crane Wife 1 & 2" by The Decemberists
Everyone that knew me is relieved that it's all over. And they can look at all the positive things I did with my life that I wasn't able to cover here, and my ex-wife and child forgive me. All I ever wanted was for things to turn out right. Sometimes we lose our way. But all is not lost. Others can learn from our mistakes, and even in that small way, we make the world a better place. It's a small private funeral for just those closest to me through the years, though it is quite an extravaganza of people, like at the end of Big Fish. Everyone shares stories of me, and hugs and has a good happy cry.
End Credits: "Sleeping In" by The Postal Service
Ah, the reflection of a life that seemed so real, but was all a dream, a prophetic vision of things to come if I continue down my current road. I wake in a Bob Newhart -like state, and give my head a shake, laugh out loud Donnie Darko style before he got squished, and then just pull the covers over my head and go back to bed.
So I wish there would have been some Led Zeppelin, Ryan Adams, and Kool Keith, but it's random, what can ya do? Maybe I'll do a hand-picked one sometime.
So what do YOU think? Questions? Comments?
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