discombobulated.

I feel like shit. Didn't sleep last night. Head feels awful, full of snot, can barely breathe.... can someone send me some cyber chicken soup?

Double Dose of Frustrating Brilliance

It’s time for a review of the 2 Ryan Adams shows I went to over the weekend. This is as much for my own documentation as it is to let you, Gentle Viewers, know how they were.

Excitement mixed with frustration is the best way to describe both nights. There were moments of sheer beauty and candid brilliance, but one had to be very patient for these moments, for they happened so sporadically.

First was Seattle, at the Moore Theatre. It’s a fairly large old concert hall, with a floor filled with chairs, and two balconies about, reaching very high. We were only in the first balcony but the piano and chair with guitar seemed small. But I liked the ambience and mis-en-scene of the place, which felt like I was about to a watch an opera, or a one-man play with very limited props.

I had heard of opener Jesse Malin, before, but only because I know he was friends with and had his first album produced by Ryan. Well, that and LeAnne, Aaron, and I saw him back when he fronted a punk band, DGeneration, which opened for The Offspring and Living End. Back then he was a snotty punk upstart whom howled fiercely with the whole microphone stuffed into his mouth. But now he strode upon stage confidently, strapped with an acoustic guitar and blasted his way through an energetic set of about 6 or 7 folk/punk songs with humorous anecdotes about his vegetarianism and other things. I also loved the song in his set where he challenged the usually apathetic Seattle crowd to clap along to his song “Ridin’ on the Subway” by saying, “Let’s see how many of you are too fucking indie to clap your hands!” Surprisingly, the whole place clapped beginning to end much to his delight. The highlight of his performance was his cover of The Flaming Lips’ song “Yoshimi Vs. The Pink Robots.” It’s so satisfying when people cover brilliant songs by contemporary artists.

Shortly after Ryan came shuffling out of the dark, lit cigarette in his mouth, bottle of wine in his hand. After a moment or two of settling in he sat at the piano and played the last track off of Heartbreaker, “Sweet Lil’ Gal,” followed by “Call Me On Your Way Back Home” and one of the standouts on Love Is Hell, “Please Do Not Let Me Go.”

The night was filled with songs of lost love and remorse, almost weaving into a pattern or theme, as I’m sure Ryan intended, or at least what was chiefly on his mind. New songs included “Blue Hotel,” “Two” and “Don’t Get Sentimental On Me.”

However, the concert did not flow as smoothly as the listing of songs in this review. Between almost every song there was around 5 minutes of shuffling around, talking to himself, talking to people offstage, and bantering with the audience. Some which was funny, but some of which was just plain tedious. He even tried to play “La Cienga Just Smiled” and forgot the words and had to be reminded by an audience member in front. One could really tell, even from far away in the balcony just how nervous he was. In the last quarter of the show he even walked offstage, saying he had to get a shot of cortisone for his wrist so he could continue the show. At this point some people around me became weary of all the pauses and delays and started getting up and walking out. Ouch. As frustrated as I could get and I would never walk out on a show, or even a movie for that matter. I paid good money for it, and I’m going to see it through, for good or for bad.

Overall, it was a worthwhile performance. The moments when he concentrated were pure brilliance and worth every penny of admission. Afterwards I thought to myself, “This was just first-night jitters, everything will be go smoothly tomorrow night.” Afterall, that’s how it went last summer when I saw him. He was quiet and focused in Houston, and in Austin he relaxed and put on a romping performance. Little did I know how inaccurate my hopes would become…

By the time we got back to Portland there was just enough time to return the rental car on time. The place was downtown so after dropping off the car we walked down to the Roseland to see if there was already a line. And there was. So, we figured with little else to do with not much money and no transportation, sure, why not wait. Kim went to the ATM and to Powell’s Books to get some books to study for her exams. TWICE while she was gone Ryan walked by with a tall lady with orange-ish-yellow hair looking spacey and not paying much attention to the crowd already waiting outside to see him. Time moved by slowly.

At 7 they let us in, and much to our excitement, we got FRONT ROW SEATS!! It was very exciting sitting directly up front, for I have done it so rarely in my entire extensive concert going. We chatted a bit with the people around us, finding out that most of the people up front where pretty big fans, so that was comforting. One lady even got my email and is going to send me pics from the show! Very nice of her. One guy was pretty nice to talk to, and then left to go have some drinks at the bar.

8 on the dot and Jesse comes out and treats us to almost the same set as last night, but with different stories about each song, and the inclusion of a new song, “Little Star.” I enjoy his music more and more with each listen. The guy whom was nice and polite but excited before the show had become drunk before Jesse came on (and perhaps took who knows what in the bathroom) because he had become a loud, obnoxious fan-monster, shouting song titles and lame comments of praise between every song, as loud as he could, in addition to conversation VERY loudly with his wife during the songs. But Jesse played another great set nonetheless.

We waited an even longer amount of time before Ryan appeared on stage, dressed more casually than the night before, but a bit more off-kilter (even admitting at one point that he was really high). When he finally started he fumbled through pretty much the same set as the night before, yet leaving out standouts from the night before including “A Kiss Before I Go” and “Nightbirds” but did get the new half-baked song “Everything Dies” and learn that the song “Blue Hotel” was written for Willie Nelson for the new album they collaborated on, which is very exciting.

The pauses and fumbling were even more frustrating than the night before, and went on for even longer. The audience didn’t help matters either, screaming out song titles throughout the whole set, even after Ryan made a remark about it, saying he didn’t appreciate it. Some people just don’t get, especially the fucked up dude next to Kim, who kept screaming for songs up until the end of the show. Women in the audience were just as bad too, yelling things like, “You’re So Hot Ryan!” and other inane shit. All of this caused Ryan to mumble to himself and walk off the stage and talk to people behind the scenes about “breaking the fourth wall” all sardonically and shit. ARGH. Neither him nor the audience really understood it was a vicious cycle. He acts unprofessional and unprepared, then the audience isn’t going to act professional either and they will continually tear each other down. But despite this you could really tell he loved playing in Portland and the Roseland.

The highlights of the evening came with surprise guest-appearances, which kept Ryan focused on the task at hand, because a when you’re playing with someone else, it’s not good to break the rhythm to talk and walk around and shit. Jesse came out and they performed “Solitaire” together, which was fantastic. Their voices really go together well, and I would really enjoy hearing a full-on collaboration between the two in the future, maybe like Jack White and Brendan Benson of The Raconteurs.

The real surprise was when he called to Phil from the side and asked if he wanted to come play, and Grateful Dead bassist Phil Lesh came out and jammed with Ryan for what seemed like a long time, doing “Stella Blues,” “Wharf Rat,” and closing the night with “Magnolia Mountain.” After a while they really locked in and gave a stellar performance and Phil provided some wonderful backing vocals to the songs. I don’t know if the whole audience really realized what was going, but those that did were ecstatic about it. This happened last year when I saw him in Austin, Phil came out then and played “Wharf Rat” with Ryan on that occasion too. This acoustic one was much more intimate and enjoyable. It was a magnificent way to close the set, and redeemed the more or less poor concert that had been taking place previously.

So overall, it was an interesting experience seeing solo acoustic Ryan. I guess I wasn’t fully prepared for his onstage behavior, since when I saw him with the Cardinals he seemed so much more focused. It makes me think that it really helps him as a live performer to be playing with other people, because it keeps him concentrating and at top quality.

But would I go see him again? In a heartbeat. He’s one of the greatest songwriters of our generation, and I think time will prove me right.

Three Cheers for Washington State!

Welcome Back Gentle Viewers!

I have returned from my weekend adventure in Seattle! Well, not exactly weekend, since we left on Sunday and returned Monday afternoon, but it felt like the weekend nonetheless. And what a time we had!

We cruised up Highway 5 Sunday morning, and eventually turned off onto some smaller roads, passing through quaint little towns on our way to the impressively looming Mt. Rainier, our first destination for the day.

Never before have I seen a more beautiful mountain! Within the first few miles of entering the park you notice the road is lined with snow. LOTS of dirty snow. The higher up you wind through this magnificent park, the higher the piles of snow go, soon towering above you on both sides, hiding street signs and trunks of trees.

At the first scenic stop on the way up we ran around in the snow. Well, more like carefully walked I guess, because at different points the snow was unstable and one could sink in up his kneecap! But it was really fun and surreal to stomp around in snow when it feels so much like spring/summer.

The highest up point you can go to without hiking with proper gear, there is a sunny observation deck, which we spent a fair amount of time just lounging and looking through telescopes to get a better view of the peak, named “Point Success.”

We also had lunch there, eating sandwiches outside, admiring the snowcapped mountain and gorgeous surroundings.

But soon we had to say goodbye to the mighty mountain, for Seattle still lay a good hour ahead of us, and we had to be there to make it to the Ryan Adams concert.

Next was the concert, but I’ll cover that in a separate blog, instead focusing on the Seattle trip in this one.

After the show we went to Dick’s to get some grub, then tried to find somewhere to sleep. No luck. So we slept in the car, in one of the most uncomfortable nights of sleep in my LIFE. Oh well, saved some money and gained another experience, so it’s all good.

That morning we went to the ship yard, where Kim met with a man about a job on a tugboat for Crowley. Afterwards we went for breakfast at Mecca Café where the waffle sucked, but the ambience was cool and laid back so that was enjoyable.

Plus within a block is one of the best music shop’s I’ve ever been in, East Street Records. I could have spent HOURS in there! But after that was the highlight of the morning, going to Lighthouse Coffee, getting the BEST Americano in the free world. Sat outside on the rocks in the sunshine sipping kick-ass coffee and chatting with lovely gal, when she mentions we should go to the beach real quick before we have to take off for Portland. Sure, why not?

It was over in west Seattle and reminded me of California, or if the Galveston strip had money and wasn’t creepy. The water was beautiful and cold, and the sand was warm. I really like the sand there, it’s from granite. Much cleaner feeling on the skin than the stuff back home at surfside. Plus, the view of Seattle from the Pier in west Seattle is fantastic. With this last wonderful moment on the pier, gazing, kissing, and dreaming, we set off for Portland.


Yet again, another wonderful trip to Seattle. A part of me has really fallen for this city. Probably my favorite American city next to Austin. It just has a great vibe, and kicks the shit out of Portland. I just haven’t been a fan of the place so far…

Winning Days in the Vision Valley...

Good Evening Gentle Viewers,

So this morning Kim and I went upstairs to make breakfast on this beautiful day. She wanted me to put on some happy music that would be appropriate for the sunny day. I chose to put on the Vines' first album, Highly Evolved.

As sausages sizzle on the pan, I jump and sing and thrash around the kitchen to this fun and saucy record. And unfortunately, amongst all this fun, I stop and recall this review about the Vines' new record, Vision Valley (which is romping bit of fun imo) I read recently from the retardedly pretentious fucktards at PitchFork Media.

Ouch. It really infuriates me when someone even bothers to review an album when at the beginning of it they pretty much tell you that this sort of music is not "their thing" or don't take it seriously. Or perhaps that's the wrong phrasing, for this is exactly my problem with this over-hyped group of commentators and many music fans alike--seriousness.

Not every band has to be Radiohead, with the weight of the world on their shoulders, expected to "save Rock-n-Roll" or whatever the hype is the media keeps blabbering about for years now. Let me say that Rock doesn't need saving. It's very much alive. But the best of it, for the most part, is very hobbit-like: deep in a hole and doesn't like to venture out much for fear of unnecessary harassment from the "big folk" (aka corporate jerk-wads) and are content in their own world with those whom know and love them. People just have to try harder to hear good music, which means they can't simply switch on the radio and expect to hear something that catches their ear or minds. And for some, that's too much effort so they just submit to the trash on the radio and claim that somebody needs to come save them and rock as a whole. Kind of reminds me of a line from Aesop Rock from his song "Save Yourself" off the incredibly brilliant album Labor Days, "Next time you wanna be a hero try saving somethin' other than hip-hop
And maybe hip-hop'll save you from the pit-stop." But the same applies to Rock and music in general. But this is not the point of this rant, though it is important as well....

FUN! That's what I was trying to get to. One can enjoy a record and just dance around to it, without it having to be about Global Warming or some other dire issue. Now am I a saying to run out and purchase the latest piece of pop garbage that tops the Billboard Charts? HELL NO!! But something can be quality but not have some important issue to get across. Which brings me to the Vines. Their music is somewhere between surf, Beatles-esque pop, and grunge wall-of-sound. And I think it's a great sound. Fun stuff to sing along to, to drive to the beach or some other recreation and just vibe to it. Which is still how I feel about Weezer's Green album that was severely trashed and underrated as well, because it wasn't a tortured Pinkerton masterpiece, instead being just a fun summer record to sing, drink, and smoke to with your pals. In fact, I will list here a few of my favourite records that are just fun records to dance or thrash to:

* Head Automatica - Decadence
* Electric Six - Fire
* Hot Hot Heat - Make Up the Breakdown & Elevator
* The Faint - Danse Macabre, Blankwave Arcade, and Wet from Birth
* Weezer - Green album & Maladroit
* Franz Ferdinand - Both of their albums
* Modest Mouse - Good News...
* The Stokes - Is This It
* The Hives - Veni Vidi Vicious, Tyrannosaurus Hives
* Any Sugarcubes album
* Hell, Misfits records are fun as hell too!

Anyway, you get the point. Or at least I hope you do. These are not incredibly famous bands (most) but still have fun quality work that you can throw on with a group of friends and just enjoy without worry. And that's how it should be. Or at least that's how the whole thing started. Like the Birds said there's a time for ...well all sorts of stuff anyway. So don't be on the heady serious road all the time. Lighten up and enjoy yourself and your music. Don't just sit around and listen to Neutral Milk Hotel and weep. Life can be a fun thing, enjoy it. But make sure you have the proper soundtrack. Have fun people. The world is full of enough woe and sorrow that sometimes the only way to combat it is to show that all its weight doesn't drag you down, and you can your happiness can endure.



P.S. How can you say "NO" to this guy?!

Stumbling Towards Meaning

Well, here I am Gentle Viewers! (cookie to those who can name the reference)

So I finally have a blog. Ha. Weird. I know I already have a myspace, but this is slightly different. It's sort of funny, because pretty much the motivation for getting a blog was not only to post my thoughts, but at first just to have somwhere to post my last.fm account to show you dudes what I've been listening to. Today has been sort of a metal mood, listened to the classic Master of Puppets. MAN, it really takes me back to high school. Ripped jeans, bad attitude, and video games. No, it wasn't the 80s, and actually, not much has changed since then. I still have ripped jeans, I can have a bad attitude at times, especially when it involves authority of any kind and the oppresive forces of the world that at times feel out of my hands. And well, I still have a deep love for video games in my heart, but the gaming is at an all-time low, because I didn't bring my Gamecube with me, and just my Gameboy Advance SP, and played the occasional Zelda: Oracle of Seasons or Mario Kart. But it doesn't quite fill that thirst for gaming like staring at the idiot box with a full-fledged controller in my mits. But I digress...

So things have been extremely different for me ever since I left for Europe last September. Just a whirlwind of change uprooting everything stable in my life and taking me on one adventure after another, for good or ill. Right now I am in Portland. My time in the Northwest has had its ups and downs certainly...

Pros:
*Spending everyday with the love of my life, Kim
*Visiting Seattle and having the best coffee of my life at Lighthouse Coffee
*Downloading all sorts of music and rekindling my love of Metal & Punk
*Meeting all sorts of different people
*Just the sheer experience of living somwhere completely different

Cons:
*Broke as all hell, sometimes eating only rice and potatoes
*Rain EVERY FUH-REEKING DAY!!!
*Job situation being unstable
*All of this having an impact on a new relationship

So yeah, that's a peek into what's been going on, without even going into depth about the saga of jobs at Cirque du Soleil, Wells Fargo, and Blockbuster. But there's no point delving too far into the murk of my Portland life. I started this to look to the future, and reflect on the present. So here's how it stands at present:

* I don't have a job...BUT thankfully tax return will be arriving shortly...

* I DO have a fun film-type gig in the beginning stages. It's with a improv-comedy group that wants someone to film their shows and film project. I went to their show last Friday, and it was a lot of fun. Mucho good energy and excitement, and it really made me miss the improv days of J.A.S.S.S. in high school (R.I.P. Steven O'Farrell) They want to rehearse and pitch ideas around on Thursday, and then go out and film the thing on Saturday! Now there's some good turn-around! It would be great to work with these guys and get something good and post-graduation on my film reel.

* I DO have a phone interview on Thursday @ 5p.m. for the job of Tech Camp Counselor for the Summer. So I might be back in Texas this Summer. And that's pretty cool and exciting. I miss all my peeps.

So things are slowly in motion for me, gearing up towards something more than day jobs and the day-to-day hustle. Lost of plans and ideas in my head, but I will keep those private for now, until they take full form. For now this update and status-check will have to do for you all, my Gentle Viewers.

P.S. One more thing, Proof of D12 died the other day. I was saddened by this, as I thought he was one of the better MCs from the group and quite enjoyed his raps. So R.I.P Proof.

Rev the Engine.

Test, test. This thing on?